Babies in the First Year: What We Can and Cannot Help With

Clear about this, because parents ring and ask.

We do not treat babies. Not colic, not reflux, not sleep, not feeding. Infant care in Australia is led by your child health nurse and your GP, and for feeding by an IBCLC lactation consultant who watches a full feed — which is where the answer to most feeding problems actually is. The ABA helpline is 1800 686 268, free and answered at any hour.

What we do is look after you, and that is not a lesser thing. A parent who has not slept more than two hours at a stretch for four months, whose neck and shoulders have been holding a baby in the same position since the birth, and whose back has given up, is the part of this that nobody is treating. Appointments are built around a newborn: bring the baby, feed mid-appointment, stop for twenty minutes, or reschedule from the car park if the morning collapsed. No fee for that.

Freshwater is ten streets from Balgowlah and about twenty from Manly, so the trip is short, which is most of what matters when getting out of the house takes an hour.

One thing about the first twelve weeks. They are triage rather than a new normal. Most of what people conclude about themselves as parents in that period is a conclusion drawn from sleep deprivation, and it does not survive contact with a baby who sleeps. Knowing that in advance does not make the nights shorter, but it stops permanent judgements being made from a temporary state.

Emergency department, straight away, not a phone call. Any fever in a baby under three months. A baby who is floppy, drowsy or hard to wake. Difficulty breathing, grunting, or ribs drawing in with each breath. A rash that does not fade when you press it. Persistent vomiting, particularly green. Far fewer wet nappies than usual. Or a baby who is simply not right in a way you cannot describe — parents are usually correct about that and it is worth acting on.